It is impossible to worry while you're laughing.

Humor cuts stress levels in half.

Laughing helps you to stay happy and healthy and helps you return to good health when ill.

Laughter increases, by 20%, the activity of killer cells within the body which serve to destroy viruses and tumor cells.

Train yourself to look for the comedy in your chaos.

A sense of humor is the number one survival skill.

George Bernard Shaw once said, "When you find something funny search it for hidden truth."

"The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." Voltaire

Humor helps us cope, conquer, and carry on.

A good laugh is not only the result of humor, it is often also the cause.

The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter and the spirit heals with joy.

The best exercise is jumping for joy.

"Joy is the serious business of heaven." C.S. Lewis.

We begin to solve our problems when we begin to see the humor in them.

"Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods." Japanese proverb.

When we feel like laughing the least , we need it most.

If it feels good to laugh, then laugh to feel good.

A sense of humor is not inherited, it is learned.

how to spot an indian

* Everything you eat is savored with garlic, onions and chillies.

* You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

* You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the airport.



* You arrive one or two hours late to a party, and think it's normal.

* You peel the stamps off letters that the postal service missed to stamp.

* Your toilet has a plastic bowl next to the commode.

* All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

* You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

* You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

* You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch .



* You live with your parents even if you are 40 years old. (And they like it that way).

* If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel it's your duty to spread the word.

* You only make long distance call after 11pm.

* If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

* When your parents meet Indian for the first time and talk for a few minutes, you soon they are your relatives.



* Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs while talking.

* You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

* It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

* You List your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.



* You're always interested to know/interfere in others' personal matters, what they are doing, where they are going, etc.

* You have really enjoyed reading this mail because you know some, or most of them, applies to you!


Ha ha ha Hoz It?

Santa asks: Who r u?

Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?

Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
**********************************


Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,

Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?

Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
**********************************



Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?

Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
**********************************


Santa: Doc Saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?

Doc: Haan, bilkul.

Santa: To phir theek hai doc Saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
**********************************


Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...

Jeeto: Koun is film thi ?

Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
**********************************


Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
**********************************

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.

Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?

Santa: I'm falling in love.
**********************************


Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye

Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
**********************************


Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets

Jeeto: Why 3?

Santa: For you and your parents
**********************************


Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.

Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
**********************************


Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?

Santa: Ji aap hi NE bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
**********************************


A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein

Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
**********************************


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
**********************************
In an interview,

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....

Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.

Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
**********************************


Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated...

Drank poison & said,

Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
**********************************


Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada

Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?

Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
**********************************


Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?

Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.

Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh Bach gayi.
**********************************


Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver NE sheesha set kiya.

Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
**********************************


Santa: tainu Sunny Deol DA phone no pata hai...?

Banta: Nahin, kyon ki Hoya?

Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna is.
**********************************


Banta: U cheated me.

Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.

Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
**********************************


Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.

Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
**********************************


Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Santa: Tipu's skeleton.

Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?

Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
**********************************


Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.

Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
**********************************


Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.

Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?

Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
**********************************


Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?

Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
**********************************


Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.

Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
**********************************


Banta: Oye, TU to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?

Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
**********************************


Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
**********************************


Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.

Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
**********************************


Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.

The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?

Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
**********************************


Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:

Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

**********************************

A Sardar badly wanted to be known as a great man. So after a long research he made an addition to Newton's Laws of Motion and was awarded 2010 Nobel Prize. It says:



"Loose motion can never be done in slow motion".

THE SUCCESS OF MARRIAGE


Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage
anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a
single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors
had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well
known "happy going marriage".

Editor: " Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been to Shimla
for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding
finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was
pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a
crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple
over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's
back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse
and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This
time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and
continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took
out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!


I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor
animal. Are you crazy?" .
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."

Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after. "

Interviewer:
what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR


















Manager asked sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.


After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?


One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar:
Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!


Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.


When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver
adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my
wife? Sit behind. I will drive.


Interviewer: just imagine youare on the3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!





Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".
(Had never thought of it)

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Why INDIA is in trouble? ?
Population: 100 crore
9 crore retired
30 crore in state Govt
17 crore in central Govt
(Both Category don't work)
1 crore IT professional (don't work for India)
25 crore in school
1 crore r under 5 years
15 crore unemployed
1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals
Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail
The Balance two are U & Me.

U are busy " checking Mails /sending fwds.. "..!!


HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone?

Stay Young n Happy Always :-)

Few Steps…. They are good…. Believe Me…

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight, and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.. That is why you pay them.



2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)


3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle.
'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!

6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself.
LIVE while you are alive.

7 Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.




And if you don't send this to at least four people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.

Enough of Sardar jokes.................Mallu jokes are here!!!!!!!!!!

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in
Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught
fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office
everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football
teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

humour

Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A. Stick with me and we'll go places!
Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A. "I find you very attractive."
Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A. "You're fun to hang around with."
Q. What did one light bulb say to the other?
A. "I love you a whole watt!"
Q. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A. "I love you a ton!"
Q. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A. "I'm sweet on you!"
Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A. Sure, they're very scent-imental!
Q. What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
A. "I love you with all my art!"
Q. What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
A. He gives it a valenshine!
Q. What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
A. "I've got a crutch on you!"
Q. Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
A. It was a case of guppy love.
Q. What do you call two birds in love?
A. Tweethearts!
Q. Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?
A. Because they needed to be ad-dressed!
Q. Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?
A. Because you can really party hearty!
Q. What did one oar say to the other?
A. "Can I interest you in a little row-mance?"
Q. What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
A. It made him wed his plants!
Q. What happened when the two angels got married?
A. They lived harpily ever after!
Q. Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
A. Because you always heart the one you love!
Girl : "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Boy : "Really?"
Girl : "Yeah, you make me sick!"
Q. Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart?
A. Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!
Q. Why do men like love at first sight ?
Answer from a Female : It saves them a lot of time !
Answer from a Male : Love will vanish when she open her mouth !
Q. Why man holds a woman's hand ?
A.1 : before marriage, it is love;
A.2 : after marriage, it is self-defense !