hasna mana hai

Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.

Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,



Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!

Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.



***********************************************



Ek aadmi bada dukhi tha!

Ek dost NE uss se poocha, œKyu, tension mein ho.





Aadmi: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh rupeey diye thay, AB saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!



*****************************************************



Customer: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.



Shopkeper: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.

Customer: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de.




*******************************************************




Santa: Yaar aaj pehli bar Maine accha kaam kya, jiss par logon NE mujhe bohat mara!

Banta: Who kya..

Santa: Ek makan mein aag lagi thi, aur andar kuch log thay, Maine window tori aur andar ja kar sab logon ko bahar nikal diya.



Banta: Toh logon NE kyun mara

Santa: Yaar, kyun ke who sab log fire fighter thay!



****************************************************



Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.

Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.

Malika gave him 1000 Rs.



Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?

Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!



***************************************************



Pathan Kaun Banega Crorepati Mein:

Q: What is you father name?

Pathan: Plz Options?

A. Dilawar

B. Changez

C. Feroz

D. Sultan



Pathan: Life line 50/50

A. Dilawar

C. Feroze

Pathan: Audience Vote.

75% Dilawar

25% Feroze

Pathan: I want to use My last life line œPhone a friend.

Kisko call karengy?




******************************************************




Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky NE socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss NE kis naam se save kya hai?



Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.

Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha œMurgha No.5? Calling .



*******************************************************



Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.



Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, œHey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!



********************************************************



Maalik: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon?



Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi, mein samjha tha begum sahiba hai.



***********************************************************



Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: œKids ka paalan poshan kaise kare .



Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.

Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek Tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.



************************************************************



Ek chor amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Tijori pe likha tha œTijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, tijori khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm Baja aur police AA gayi.



Jate jate chor Seth se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!



****************************************************************