Thout about A Man

Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
*******

Thought 2

The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
*******


Thought 3

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
*******

Thought 4

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."

Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."

The whole audience including priest started laughing.... ...... but not the poor groom!
*******

ye pyar......

Ye pyar bhi ajib cheez hoti hai.

Maa se ho to - MAMTA.
Baap se ho to - KARTAVYA.
Bhai se ho to - DHARM.
Behn se ho to - FARZ.
Aur Biwi se ho to
.
.
Sonu
Monu
Chhotu
Pappu...



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Bhikari: Saab ek rupiya de do.

Saab: tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte?

Bhikari: Abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?



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Girl Friend ke saath,
Kamre ke andhar,
Table ke upar,
Batti ke neeche,
De tacatac……….tacatac….
De tacatac……….tacatac….

Stupid I am playing table tennis

lipstick

According to a news report, a certain private school in Sydney was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.


After they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.


Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.


Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.


She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.


She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night - (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).


To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.


He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.


Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror..


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Moral to this story:-


There are teachers.... and then there are educators..

Evolution of man:

Evolution of man:

Without shaadi Spiderman
Shaadi k din superman
Shaadi k baad Gentleman

Aur

B.V khobsurat hoto sari umar watchman.



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Neighbour to sardar: " Raat nu teri khirki khuli is, I enjoyed full scene u did with bhabhi".

Sardar: "Ban gaya na pagal, main to raat ghar par tha he nahi".



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Ek Pathan ki behan ko daku utha kar Le gaye,

Sab NE kaha daku khatarnak hain khali haath mat jana behan ko bachane.

Pathan 2 kilo mithayi Le gaya. P



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2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.

Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.

Faqir: mera number Le lo, jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.